Nice God, Mean God, Red God, Green God
by Sigridhr
Summary: She's got used to Norse gods, they no longer faze her, After all, Darcy knows how to fire her taser. What can a girl do with a god on the loose? A story in rhyme as a tribute to Seuss.


**Notes: **

For Bewilderebeest who's had a bad day,  
In the hope it will chase all the stormclouds away,  
and Sadirapookie whose month has been frightful,  
in the hope that this will be something delightful,

And also, with love, to any of you,  
Whose days have been taking a turn for the blue.  
No matter how different you wish things could be,  
There are so many wonders you've still got to see.

* * *

It started one morning while Darcy was sat  
At her table, with coffee, and, hearing a splat  
She leapt up and peered out her window to see  
A sight very frightful to you or to me.

A man lying prostrate down in the dirt  
His clothing all crumpled, and probably hurt,  
With hair long and black, and cape long and green,  
Darcy knew exactly where this man had been.  
She'd seen him before, although this time around,  
He was not quite so scary with his face in the ground.  
With actions much braver than any of mine  
She carefully turned him so he was supine.  
It was terribly clear that he'd need urgent care  
And Darcy, kind soul, could not leave him there  
So she brought him inside, took him in, sat him up,  
And poured him a drink in her second best cup.

But Loki did nothing but balefully stare  
(He had, after all, no manners to spare)  
And said in a voice that was clear as can be  
"I'll kill you for sure if you ever touch me."

There never has been a houseguest so ungrateful,  
Or filthy, or grouchy, or utterly hateful,  
As Loki, since the last Grumphagus was throttled  
For declaring his wine to be Thorlax snot bottled –  
(and you do know of course how tricky things get,  
When good wine is wasted by those of that set) –  
So you see his behaviour was quite bad indeed,  
And made Darcy so angry she left him to bleed.

But not for too long, as she was really kind hearted  
And she came back with band-aids to end what she'd started.  
So she sat and she plastered his wounds one by one  
Using Iron Man band-aids she'd bought just for fun,  
While Loki watched on, and he felt himself change  
From his toes to his nose he was feeling quite strange,  
A tingling, a tugging, pulled at his face  
And a lopsided smile fell into place.  
(You'll forgive him, of course, for being quite stiff,  
When smiles are rare they don't come in a jiff).  
From the tip of his head to the toes of his feet  
He felt all his body all flooded with heat  
A warmth that he secretly hoped would not end,  
You've felt it too – if you've made a friend.

Loki slept soundly curled up on the floor  
Quite in Darcy's way when she opened the door.  
But she tiptoed around him as quiet as a mouse  
Oh, what should she do with the god in her house?

So she made him a space labelled 'for Lokis only'  
And gave him some novels in case he got lonely.  
(One can never be lonely with good books you see,  
They'll fill your heart up, you take it from me).  
Things settled down then with nary a yelp,  
At least until Loki decided to help.

The problem with helping, though it's often quite nice,  
Is it's not always helpful – you take my advice:  
If your helping is cause of more trouble than not  
Then perhaps you have done a bit more than you ought.  
Loki, unwisely, paid these words little heed  
And helped quite a lot with things nobody needs  
Like making her neighbour's pet poodle stop yapping  
With a quite overzealous application of zapping  
Which sent it quite promptly to a different dimension  
And created a great deal of neighbourhood tension.  
Though she no longer listened to unceasing barking,  
Darcy never again could find adequate parking.

There were other things too as Darcy found out  
The next time her postman came thereabout  
He told her that he had been hung from his nose  
All over a letterbox he had failed to close.

So she sat Loki down and said it was his fault,  
"We settle with words, not with grievous assault."  
And when he refused to see Darcy's perspective  
She unleashed her inventive command of invective.

"You must stop your helping, or I'll have to move.  
Everyone hates us, and what does that prove?  
It proves that you're cruel, malicious and mean,  
You're really the worst that I've ever seen.  
You cannot hang postmen up in the sky,  
Or disappear poodles who bark on the fly,  
You must simply smile and learn to be kind  
And keep the fact we're not perfect in mind.  
You'll find that people are better that way  
It's what keeps us changing and learning each day.  
And if you look close – which you really should do  
I think you will find you are imperfect too.  
So there you are then, and I leave it to you,  
Say you're sorry or get out – what will you do?"

So Loki sat still and thought it all through  
And did the same thing that we all would do.  
He said he was sorry, he begged and he charmed,  
And even brought back the lost poodle unharmed.  
He made his amends and he cleaned up his act,  
And slowly he even began to learn tact.  
And Darcy was rather surprised to find out  
That his manner, his actions, came fully about,  
And she liked him much better now he'd changed his way,  
So at last she relented and said he could stay.

They went out together on special occasions,  
And worked side by side to fight off invasions  
From monsters to things that go bump in the night,  
So I guess in the end it turned out alright.

I have told you the story, that's all there will be,  
If you're brave like Darcy, or a chicken like me  
Rest assured you are fully apprised of the danger  
Of choosing to rescue a sky-fallen stranger.  
You simply cannot expect model conduct,  
From someone the heavens have recently upchucked,  
But perhaps, possibly, there are benefits too –  
I really can't say, so I'll leave that to you.


End file.
